22 LESSONS I LEARNED BEFORE TURNING 20.

1. Jerks are jerks and good people are good people; and only on the very rare occasion does one become the other.

2. Your heart is right 50 to 75 percent of the time. Your gut is right 100 percent of the time.

3. Everything you own should be something you either love dearly or use yearly.

4. Karma is a bitch when you are. No exceptions.

5. Everyone is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and 95 percent of people fall into the first two categories.

6. You will know true love on the outside, when you know true love on the inside.

7. You will never regret working less and traveling more. You will likely regret working more and traveling less.

8. If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t right.

9. The universe gives you three choices:

Change course when it taps you on the shoulder to tell you to go the other way;

Change course when it is tired of tapping you on the shoulder, grabs you by both shoulders and shakes you to tell you to go the other way;

Change course when it is tired of shaking you, pulls out the baseball bat and starts pummeling you, leaving you with no choice but to go the other way.

10. What you know will never be as important as who you know.

11. ‘Someday’ is today.

12. When you say you, “don’t know what to do,” the vast majority of time you actually do know what to do – you just don’t like the answer.

13. Silence is violence, yet words can kill. Be vigilant in both regards.

16. Neither luck nor money have very much to do with your ability to travel.

17. One day will be the last day for you and everyone you love. That day has snuck up on a lot of people. Act accordingly.

18. When you don’t know what to say, you must say something. Even if it is, “I don’t know what to say.”

19. Any email in your outbox that could alter the course of your life by arriving in someone else’s inbox needs to sit in ‘drafts’ for five days before hitting send. No exceptions.

20. Everyone has a story that would blow your f’n mind. No exceptions.

21. Momentum is a universal force you can control. Every day you choose whether it will pull you further backwards or push you forward.

22. You can’t out crazy, crazy, but hopefully you can out run it.

DEAR CHILDHOOD IMAGINATION: I MISS YOU

I unearthed an ancient map today. No, it was not a real map. Not even a treasure map. It has no value to anyone else.

The map is one I drew when I was young (fourteen maybe?), when my imagination overflowed every minute of every day with a new wonderful idea to write about. The map was for a fantasy world I created, at the time called Gailla (essentially a misspelling or misunderstanding of the word Gaia, done on purpose). Lots of continents and oceans, small islands and larger land masses, each with a history.

So I dug around in a box which contains my my toys, diaries and other things I used in my childhood. I found my original writings from this fantasy world. And I could not believe what I found. I knew I had some ideas, but I have a massive amount of writings in my diaries, fleshing out so many stories about characters, events, objects . . . all interrelated and playing into a massive chronology that I had long forgotten about.

Where did my imagination go? Nowadays I sit at my computer, staring at the screen, grasping wildly for any idea that inspires me enough to put more than a few stray sentences on a page. That trend has been getting steadily worse for a while now. At one time I had eighty different ideas on the go, and that was for one (relatively) isolated story line!

What I wouldn’t give to see the world like that again. To see wonder in everything, to hold up a seemingly inanimate object and imagine a whole world. To move around a couple figures or play a video game and imagine the entire universe they exist in. To hear, nonstop, the dialogue of characters in my head, advancing complex story lines seamlessly.

I guess the best I can do is unearth those childhood scraps and try to pick up the pieces of my imagination. And hopefully I can put something together that will honour that kid and his amazing, limitless imagination.

unwanted thoughts

emphadiate

You showed up in my dreams for the umpteenth time, and while working out whether or not it was actually a nightmare, I can’t help but wonder how you have the audacity, after walking out of my heart, guns ablaze, to traipse about the corners of my mind; only to emerge when even the night watch has been lulled.

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Turn regrets into lessons.

“No amount of regret is worth rolling over and dying for, the sooner you realize it, the better it is.”

ridhashaukat

Every decision you have made, for better or worse, has led to who you are today. I have always worried about the decisions I make or have made because I don’t want to do the wrong thing, feel stuck, uncomfortable or like I “should have” done something else. When it comes to rethinking the 17 years of my life, I have many, many things I wish I could change. We all experience feelings of regret at some time in our lives. But because we don’t always perform perfectly, we bombard ourselves with ‘could haves,’ ‘would haves’ and ‘should haves.’ We need to begin by accepting that imperfection is not only inevitable,  but also part of our reason for being. Holding on to regrets hurts you. Be grateful for all your experiences. Things that we regret guide us to where we want to be.

When I look back there are many things I…

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DARK LESSONS OF LIFE LEARNT IN PAST TWO YEARS.

During one of those intense conversations with my close friend she remarked — “You know what your problem is? You think you are good, you do good to people and good will happen to you. You are wrong. That’s not how life is and you need to come out of your own idea of life.” That was a bit of eye opener. I knew that life is not fair and all that stuff but it was the first time I realized this fact closely. I started observing things a bit more carefully.

This is going to be dark and bad and if you are still living in your self created utopia then please don’t go ahead.

This is going to be dark and bad and if you are still living in your self created utopia then please don’t go ahead.

Your success in corporate life will depend a lot more on presentation and the way you showcase your work than the actual work itself.

  • Your success in corporate life will depend a lot more on presentation and the way you showcase your work than the actual work itself. There are thousands of people doing almost the same work. What makes you stand apart? What more can you bring on plate which is already filled with diverse delicacies?
  • You only control your personal growth and nothing else. Your career growth in any organization depends on a lot of factors like the people above you. How willing they are to fight for you and how ready they are to support you. Luck, vertical budget, timing and a lot of things play their role along side your little hard work and sincerity.
  • Work hard for your inner satisfaction, learn stuff for your personal growth, love someone to respect your feelings and be honest to respect that love. Expecting anything beyond that is a waste. A lot of things in life are not give and take. You cannot expect others to reciprocate your feelings or think like you do. People will cheat, be dishonest, hearts will break, good work will get unnoticed and you cannot help it.
  • You might feel a void in your life. Till now it were exams, preparation to get a job that kept you busy but now you have your dream job, a good salary and probably everything you wanted. What’s next ? Of course studying more and switching job with a higher salary is an option but what after that ? Will the entire life revolve around this struggle, switch and hops?
  • Your close friend circle will shrink rapidly. The innocence and freedom of college days will not be there. People will start thinking about their own lives, future and relationships and it’s time you start to figure out your own path which should be independent from other’s choices.It’s innate nature in all species to grow and move ahead. People who are part of your pack will start to venture out to find their own mate and destiny. Friends will be busy with their career paths, higher education or investing time in their relationship. Learn to live with it.

You’ll be judged all the time even for things that you don’t control.

  • You’ll be judged all the time even for things that you don’t control. How you look, how tall you are, how fat you are, money, complexion and muscularity. All those moral science lessons of school about good heart, honesty seem to be forgotten. Ignore and move ahead. Don’t let anyone get into your head. Do what’s healthy for your body and nothing else. When you fall sick or crash due to your crash dieting none of them will come for rescue.
  • Being good, nice and helpful beyond limits might make people respect you but might not earn you friendship. Worst case people might remember you only during their bad times or when they need help but will have a totally different group for fun and enjoyment. Don’t be that guy or girl. Be in the core, be the alpha. Know your limits and don’t help after a certain extent. People will take you for granted.
  • Your smartness, intelligence, knowledge may not help you at all in winning close friends. People in general have been receiving a lot of advice all of the time and doing all that serious stuff during their office hours. They want people to laugh with, cry with, share jokes and do stupid stuff. Lower your IQ a bit for sometime and talk things that don’t make sense and do stuff that will surprise you. I have seen successful people eating lunch alone and total newbies killing the cafeteria with their voices.

True love is rarest of all and if you get it don’t let it go at any cost.

  • The person who cares more, thinks more in a relationship feels the greater pain. Unlike other scenarios the less caring and serious one is comparatively happier. Try to bring “ME” before “WE”. Don’t loose your identity.

In short, rules are continuously bent, truth is stretched too far and hearts are broken. Life is made of good and bad parts. Learn to live, adjust and enjoy the moment. A lot can be achieved later but the beauty of moment once gone can never be relived. I have delayed lots of fun opportunities for better times. Now I have that time with me but unfortunately the people with whom I wanted to share those moments are not there. I’m still learning and still exploring.

“Life goes on, whether you choose to move on and take chances in the unknown, or stay behind locked in the past, thinking what could have been.”

وہ جو رُکا ہوا ہے

بلاگ اے

یہ تو کب سے چل رہا ہے، اور کب سے رکا ہوا ہے۔

وہی مصروف دن، مضطرب شامیں۔

سُنی سنائی باتیں، معلوم ملاقاتیں۔

کبھی یہی حال لیے چل دیے، خود کو کچھ پل دیے۔

پھر وہی برقی قمقمے، دیکھنے دکھانے کی شمعیں۔

کالک من کو اور ملی، نسیں تن کی اور تنی۔

کر لی تھوڑی بہت التجا، پھر یہ جا وہ جا۔

ہاں یہ سب تو چل رہا ہے، پھر کیا ہے جو رُکا ہوا ہے؟

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Bs ik bahar mein, kai khizaan bikhair detay hain.

Over a Cup of Tea

Not very good with Urdu poetry, probably the only genre I think I can’t produce my best pieces but I do try, from time to time.

Woh baad-e-saba ki manind,
Meray ies qadar qareeb,
Baari khamshi se chaala.

Dheeray se choova,
Madhosh sa dekha,
Holay se muskuraya.

Yeh mera nadan dil aaj bhi,
Usi bay-kaif saahil ke aas paas,
Ik anjaney iztiraab mein,
Bas ik khayal karta hai.

Kuch loug bhi kia khoob,
Madham, pur-sooz bahar mein,
Kai khizaan bikhair detay hain.

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Love,
H.

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